Hold My Hand
by fullmetalscully
Summary: Riza needs help from a friend to stage a "date" to gently tell her stalker to back off. Can Roy help her out? M for language
1. i'm ready for this

**AN: "Can I please request some Modern AU with a spoonful of pining/adorkable Roy and tons of fluff? :D :D thank youuuu in advance, Emma!" - ruikosakuragi**

* * *

There was an incessant banging on his apartment door. Stumbling through his living room, Roy cursed as he kicked the corner of his couch hard, his toe throbbing. His irritation growing by the second, his visitor _still_ banging away on the door like there was no tomorrow, he wrenched the door open with a glare. Riza, his neighbour, stood on the other side of the door, hand raised and poised to knock again with an impatient expression.

"What?" he growled irritably.

"Hey," she greeted brightly, unconcerned about the time and the sacred rite that was a lie in on a fucking _Saturday_. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Riza, it's Saturday morning."

"And?" Damn her. Dam her and her ability to rise at six in the morning any day of the week. The woman had probably never slept past seven before in her life. Roy, on the other hand, appreciated and valued his sleep.

"_Saturday_," he stressed slowly. He had finished work late last night and had been looking forward to his sleep. Now it had been ruined by Riza.

They were good friends and hung out frequently. Starting off as neighbours who politely greeted each other every morning, they quickly discovered they shared mutual friends, so it was easy for their relationship to develop. To Roy it had been the most natural thing. The only down side was said friends were both couples and they ended up third wheeling any outing they attended. Through this, however, they had formed a close friendship, which he deeply valued.

But when she interrupted his morning by _loudly_ banging on his front door for about five minutes instead of waiting for a more respectable hour, Riza really tried his patience.

"Good observation," she quipped. "Anyway, I need a favour, if you're up for it?"

Roy sighed, admitting defeat. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, resigned to the fact that for the fourteenth day in a row, he had been woken up at six thirty in the morning.

"What?" he asked irritably.

"I've got a work thing tonight and I need you to come with me." Roy narrowed his eyes critically, eyeing her open and honest expression.

"What's this really about?"

With a sigh, she finally revealed the truth. "You know that guy I was dating?"

"The stick?"

Riza huffed. "He's not a stick."

"Riza, he's built like a stick."

"_Anyway_, it didn't work out and now I have… a situation."

It shouldn't have excited him so much to hear that her relationship with Stick Man Dan didn't work out. Roy wasn't blind, Riza was a beautiful woman. Plus, he adored her as a friend. They had clicked instantly and the banter they shared was effortless. If things were to progress further between them, Roy certainly wouldn't say no.

"A situation?" Roy asked doubtfully, yawning loudly. "What kind of situation?"

"Just some friendly stalking, that's all."

_That_ woke him up. "He's _stalking_ you?"

Riza nodded and Roy didn't miss the briefest flash of worry appear on her face. "Have you gone to the police?"

Riza nodded. "Yeah, of course, but they won't do anything."

"Why?" he asked, unable to keep the anger out of his voice. Regardless of his feelings towards Riza, they should be doing something about it.

"Apparently until he does something concrete, and there's evidence, they can't charge him."

"Bullshit."

Riza's lips quirked upwards. "I'm inclined to agree. Anyway, it's fine. I can look after myself. My hope was that you could accompany me to this thing tonight to try and gently tell him that, you know, I've moved on."

"Yeah, of course," he replied, tone concerned. "Do you need somewhere to stay? Is it that serious?"

Riza smiled at him instead of replying, Roy unable to determine the emotion on her face. "No, thank you. I'm okay."

"Let me know if you do. And if Stick Man Dan comes around, give me a text or a knock."

"I will," she smiled that cryptic smile, expression soft. "Thank you."

"Okay then. What time do I need to be ready for?"

"Six, if that's okay?"

"No problem."

"It's date," she grinned.

"But be warned," Roy added. Riza's expression turned expectant. "Wake me up, banging on my door, at this time tomorrow and I _will_ remove your hands from the ends of your arms."

Riza grinned. "Thanks Roy!" She walked towards the lift, a spring in her step, completely unconcerned about his empty-but-tempting threat. He sighed, closing his door, but smiled as he re-entered his apartment. An evening with Riza on a "date" didn't seem so bad.

* * *

_RM__: What do I need to wear tonight? 13:44pm _

_RM__: Smart? Casual? We talking tux? 13:44pm_

_**RH**__: Smart casual is fine. 13: 51pm_

_RM__: Wow. Thank you. Much helpful. Very cool. 13:51pm_

_**RH**__: You're welcome. 13:52pm_

_**RH**__: Do I detect sarcasm? 13:53pm_

_RM__: Your powers of deduction are unparalleled. 13:53pm_

_**RH**__: Thank you. I pride myself on that. 13:54pm_

_**RH**__: Idk just wear trousers and a shirt. 13:54pm_

_RM__: Still not helpful. 13:55pm_

_**RH**__: Idk, I'm not a dude. I don't know what you wear on a night out. 13:55pm_

_RM__: Where is it being held? 13:56pm_

_**RH**__: In a function suite. It's just a gathering to celebrate a colleague retiring. Dan will be there because he was a friend of the retiree and one of my colleagues. 13:57pm_

_RM__: Stick Man Dan is friends with old age pensioners? 13:58pm_

_RM__: Riza. 13:58pm_

_**RH**__: Shut your mouth right now. I already regret the decision no need to rub it in. 13:59pm_

_**RH**__: And if you say I told you so I will punch you in the face. Guaranteed. 13:59pm_

_RM__: What a catch. 14:01pm_

_**RH**__: I hope you enjoy that punch coming your way in approximately 4 hours. 14:03pm_

_RM__: Hey if no one else will make fun of you for it I've got to step up to the plate. 14:05pm_

_RM__: I'm just fulfilling my duty as a friend. 14:05pm_

_**RH**__: Two punches. 14:05pm_

_RM__: Come at me. I look forward to them. 14:06pm_

_RM__: So… About that dress code… 14:10pm_

_**RH**__: Roy. You're a grown ass man. Dress yourself. 14:11pm_

_RM__: Do you want Stick Man Dan to get the message or not? 14:11pm_

_**RH**__: What, pray tell, message could you send from the way you are dressed? 14:12pm_

_RM__: That I'm a sexy motherfucker and you've done so much better than him already? 14:13pm_

_**RH**__: … 14:13pm_

_**RH**__: Insert picture of me laughing my ass off while rolling my eyes here. 14:13pm_

_RM__: Just staying true to myself. 14:13pm_

_**RH**__: Keep telling yourself that buddy. 14:14pm_

_RM__: To be honest anyone is a step up from Stick Man Dan. 14:14pm_

_**RH**__: All right I'm going now. I've got more important shit to do than tell a grown man how to dress for a "date". 14:15pm_

_**RH**__: I thought you were "Mr. Hot Stuff" anyway? Surely you know how to dress for a date. 14:16pm_

_**RH**__: Wait. 14:18pm_

_**RH**__: You've gone on a date before, haven't you? 14:18pm_

_RM__: I'm not even going to dignify that stupid question with an answer. 14:22pm_

_**RH:**_ _Oh my god. 14:22pm_

_**RH**__: Hahahaha. 14:22pm_

_**RH**__: That pause speaks volumes. 14:22pm_

_RM__: I was in the bathroom. 14:22pm_

_**RH**__: TMI dude. 14:23pm_

_**RH**__: Roy is not the "player" he makes himself out to be. Confirmed. 14:23pm_

_**RH**__: I can't wait to tell Becca. 14:25pm_

_RM__: You wouldn't dare. 14:25pm_

_**RH**__: ; ) 14:28pm_

_RM__: Your loyalties, and any impending betrayals, are noted._ _14:29pm_

* * *

"I'm going to kill you," Roy grinned, trying to hide his irritation as they walked arm in arm towards the function room where this party was being held. "Really, Riza. This time, I will."

"I'd like to see you try," she muttered under her breath quickly before greeting a colleague and introducing Roy.

"You told _Catalina_ of all people." Riza snickered beside him, steering Roy towards the buffet table. "You _lied _to her as well."

"You neither confirmed, nor denied, if it was true."

"I said I wouldn't dignify it with an answer," he bit back, his irritation rising. He couldn't _believe_ Riza had said to Catalina that he'd never been on a date before. Of _course,_ he had been on a date before. The woman had phoned him up, cackling, asking if it was true. No matter what he said, Rebecca refused to accept any other answer.

God, he hated those two when they were together. A force to be reckoned with, for sure, and often at his expense. Although they were maddening, Roy never minded it really. It was all good fun. However, it was just as entertaining to banter back and forth with Riza about the situation.

"Well, now we know you have," she deadpanned, picking up a paper plate and filling it with food.

Roy followed suit, a smirk on his face as he shook his head in amusement. "I don't feel so bad about making fun of you about Stick Man Dan anymore. In fact, I don't feel bad at all."

"I _would_ care but that's history."

"Doesn't look like it," he muttered in her ear, picking out the Stick Man himself heading their way, his approach unknown to Riza. Roy shot him a polite smile, which was ignored.

"What?" she asked, mid turn.

"Hey, Riza," Stick Man Dan greeted his ex, still completely ignoring Roy. _Thanks, mate_.

Roy had never liked him. He was built like a stick, all skin and bones, and taller than anyone Roy had ever met, which did nothing in his favour in the appearance department. Every time they met up as a group, he would completely gloss over everyone who wasn't Riza, offering only one-word answers. Not to mention he hated Roy for some unknown reason. He couldn't figure out what it was. Roy would chuckle to himself when he considered Stick Man Dan may have felt threatened by him.

Roy had often wondered what Riza saw in him. "As a concerned friend," he would tell Hughes and Catalina irritably when they gave each other The Look. Said look was a "oh-shit-he-loves-her" look.

Amusement aside, Roy did consider how it looked from an outsider's perspective. Both he and Riza were very close. Probably too close in the opinion of significant others, but nothing had ever happened. It didn't mean Roy didn't _want_ it too, but if Riza wasn't interested, then so be it. He wasn't about to mess up this friendship and make it awkward by asking her.

As Stick Man Dan ignored Roy, he considered that perhaps they were close enough that it _wouldn't _make it awkward between them. They told each other _everything_.

Only one way to find out, however now was not the time.

"So, you're here with Gerald?" Riza asked him politely gripping Roy's arm tighter and sliding an arm around his waist. Not expecting such close contact, his breath hitched as he ate, but was luckily able to hide it behind that.

"Gerald, unfortunately, was unable to make it tonight, however I thought I would just come anyway to honour Janine."

Roy frowned. What person comes to a friend's retirement party? At said friend's place of work?

_A stalker, looking to see someone who shot them down._

Roy shifted, wrapping his arm around Riza's shoulder as he continued to eat, staring Stick Man Dan down. His hand came to rest on said shoulder and he gave it a quick squeeze. Dan seemed to realise who it was standing beside Riza, and his eyes flicked to Roy's briefly, before moving to Roy's hand on Riza. If a six foot seven bean pole could look dangerous, then that's what Stick Man Dan's eyes looked like.

And Roy did _not_ like it.

Apparently, neither did Riza. She was tense underneath his arm, so he rubbed his shoulder in response. This man made her uncomfortable now, that was for sure. That was his job tonight, as a friend, to help her make it through this night and get rid of this guy forever. The only way Stick Man Dan would ever take the hint was if they were convincing.

However, he didn't want to push the boundaries too much –

_Oh my god, Roy, chill. You're here as a friend, that's it. Nothing more. Just help her out._

"That's very nice of you," Riza replied.

Stick Man Dan's eyes flicked over to Roy's once more. _Oh, so he wasn't invisible? Who knew?_ "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute?"

"Sorry, Janine asked us to come and speak to her after we've grabbed a plate," Riza lied smoothly. Roy watched as the disappointment crossed Stick Man Dan's face, feeling very pleased by the show. Riza begun to walk away, neglecting to offer Dan another chance for his talk, and Roy let his arm drop, regrettably, but followed after her.

"Can you see me?" Roy whispered to her quietly, leaning in close, as they left Stick Man Dan at the buffet table alone.

"What?" Riza asked, looking up at him, confused.

"Can you see me?" he repeated. "Stick Man Dan acted as if I wasn't there and I was wondering if I've miraculously achieved the ability to turn invisible." Riza snorted, loudly. "I mean, it would come in incredibly useful. I'll be disappointed if you _can_ see me at this point."

"Shut up," she laughed quietly, approaching the woman of the hour. "He's an ass."

"I honestly don't know what you saw in him," Roy joked, sighing dramatically. He would never let on that he was being serious. "I mean, _clearly_ he was a charmer."

"He never liked you, did he?" Riza smirked, popping a sandwich in to her mouth.

"Oh, we were best buds. Me and Dan?" He rose his hand, crossing over his pointer and middle finger. "We were tight, just like that."

"Shut up," she chuckled.

The rest of the evening was pleasant. Riza's colleagues were good people who welcomed him with open arms. Apparently, they were in on the whole stalker situation, and were aware of Roy's role in the night. It didn't stop them from playing it up, perhaps too much. As much as Roy enjoyed pretending that he and Riza were a couple, that was just it.

Pretend.

"Do you want to go with them?" Riza whispered in his ear. The feeling of her hot breath on his ear made him shiver, goose bumps rising on his flesh. There were a few people who were going out for the night to a club nearby. Truthfully, Roy didn't want the evening to end. He enjoyed having his arm around Riza as they sat together, their thighs pressed against each other. Holding her hand was something he couldn't get enough of, and often found himself stroking the back of it with his thumb as they sat.

_It's all an act,_ he kept reminding himself.

But as the night wore on, Roy found he didn't want it to be just an act.

So, he agreed to going out to the club.

That was his first mistake.

His second came when they were dancing under the dim lighting, smoke coiling around their legs as they moved _dangerously_ close to one another. Roy saw, rather than felt, his hand reaching out to brush her bangs off her face, his hand curving around her cheek to cup it. Riza's eyes that had once been on the space between them had snapped up to meet his, both their dancing slowly coming to a stop. A thumb brushed over her cheekbone and Riza's eyes widened. The music in the club dulled to a heavy _thump_, the words fading away to become obsolete.

He pressed his lips gently against Riza's, feeling her breathing hitch underneath them. His free hand made its way to her waist, hand gliding effortlessly across the material of her silk top as it moved around to her lower back. Riza responded eagerly, deepening the kiss after she locked her arms around his neck, pulling him tightly against her body.

For a few moments all was right in the world. This felt _good_. It felt natural. It made Roy wonder why they hadn't done it sooner. He pulled back, as if his brain finally realised what he had done, and _who_ he had kissed.

Riza was a friend. This was supposed to be pretend. Not that Riza could hear him, but he stuttered, trying to apologise for overstepping that final boundary.

The look in her eyes told Roy she was okay with it.

One of her own hands rose to cup _his_ cheek this time, drawing his lips back against hers.

* * *

"Would… Would you like to come in for a coffee?"

Riza smiled tiredly. She had ridden in the lift with her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, and a small smile on her face. It had made Roy's stomach go crazy and grip her hand tighter as they stood waiting on their floor.

That second mistake was working out all right.

"I would love to, but I think I'm just going to go to sleep."

"See, if you slept in at the weekend, you wouldn't be so tired at one am."

Riza smirked but the lift _ding_ed at their floor before she would reply.

"Maybe one day, you could teach me," she replied, playing coy, before giving him a wink as she stepped out of the lift. That left Roy staring after her, desire in his eyes.

A hand stilled the one on her door handle, gently but firmly spinning Riza around so her back was against her apartment door. Roy's hands were pressed flat against Riza's apartment door, trapping her head between them. Her surprised squeak was adorable and so was the grin on her face as Roy bent to kiss her lips. Since he had done it for the first time in the club, he had ached to do it again.

"See you tomorrow?" Roy murmured, his hands moving slowly up and down her waist.

"See you tomorrow," she agreed, her face and neck flushed from their activities. "You can count on it."

He bid her goodnight and entered his own empty apartment. The memory of kissing Riza, the feelings of her skin underneath his hands on her waist, the softness of her hair as he ran his hands through it feverishly were fresh in his mind as they lulled him peacefully to sleep.

Only to be interrupted by incessant knocking on his apartment door.

At six thirty in the morning.

_There is only _one_ person…_

Gearing up for his charade of being truly irritated, but ready to joke with his friend, his retort about removing her hands from the ends of her arms died on his tongue. One look at Riza's face told him this visit was different. She looked… scared?

"Can… Can I stay here?" Her voice was hesitant and quiet, almost fearful. His irritation gone after hearing her speak, Roy opened the door wider so she would enter his apartment. He was worried. Riza _never_ looked like this.

"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?"

Riza shook her head, offering him her phone instead of replying. Apprehensively, Roy took the phone from her unresisting hands.

_**Unknown Number:**_ _Riza we need to talk. I didn't like what I saw tonight. I don't like you spending time with that guy. I won't allow it. 06:21am_

Roy looked up at her from the screen. Her eyes were cast down towards the floor, not looking at him in the eye.

"I got that this morning, a few minutes after I woke up."

He tried to reign in his anger. He really did. Was he _watching_ her? The thought made him physically ill and see red at the same time. "This happen often?" he asked curtly, but somehow, he already knew her answer.

"Yes," she replied in a small voice.

"Has it ever escalated?" Riza was silent and that was the only answer Roy needed. "Why didn't you _tell_ me?"

"I could handle it," she replied, voice stronger now. "But even after last night he still hasn't gotten the hint and…"

"What?"

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I'm scared of what he might do, of what he's possibly already done, and I… I don't want to be alone right now. Especially not in my apartment."

Roy closed the door behind her, putting the chain across it, as if a reassurance that Dan wouldn't get anywhere near her. Not while Roy was around anyway.

"Block that number after you've reported him to the police," Roy told her. "I'll drive you down there tomo – Well, at a more respectable hour," he quipped.

"Why don't we just go now?" Riza asked, confused. _Ah, of course, Miss what-is-sleeping-past-six-am?_

"I'm going back to bed," Roy told her. "And – only if you want to – you can learn the benefits of sleeping past six am at the weekend."

His attempt at humour was only to try and lighten the mood – to try and take Riza's mind off things – and he was pleased to see she fell into step with him, their banter coming easily to each other. He was thrilled to learn thigs weren't different between them, despite what happened tonight.

Riza's lips quirked up and her posture relaxed. Instead of her arms hugging her body, they moved into the front pocket of her hoodie. "And what benefits would those be?"

"Waking up next to me?" he offered with a smirk.

Riza sighed, cocking her head as if to consider his proposal. "I think I like that benefit. Are there anymore?"

Roy grinned widely as he closed the distance between them, kissing Riza Hawkeye like his life depended on it.

God, it felt good.


	2. so darling, hold my hand

**AN: here comes the angst uwu**

* * *

Hair tickled Roy's nose as he awoke. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the scent of shea butter and buried his face deeper into the back of his guest's neck. His hand tightened around her waist as he shifted, pulling her unresisting body closer against his. The skin of her back was soft against his bare chest, his hands flush against her stomach. Riza twitched underneath his palm and Roy smiled. Apparently, she had a ticklish spot.

"Stop fidgeting," Roy murmured against the skin of her neck.

"I'm not," Riza replied instantly, hands stilling atop his.

"It's rude to lie," he smirked. "Plus, I can feel it." Riza sighed. "Hey," he whispered in concern, pulling away. Riza turned once she was free from his hold, facing his chest rather than looking up at his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Riza, talk to me." She never lifted her face to meet his eyes, opting to stare at his chest while her hands came to rest upon it while she spoke.

"I can't stop thinking about what happened."

Roy's jaw clenched. He would have made a joke about how he was _just_ that good, like he would any other time, but things were different now. If things were to progress further in their relationship like he hoped, Riza would need him. Hopefully, not in situations such as this, but in general. There would be a different time for jokes.

He had never really been involved in too much of her personal life. He got bits here and there since they spent so much time together, but Riza was a private person by nature, so Roy never really got a glimpse into this other side of her.

Now that he had the opportunity, he wouldn't squander it.

"I know, I'm sorry." His hand lifted to her cheek, brushing the hair away from her face. There was something different about seeing her in this light. It was just pushing nine thirty and the morning sun was right outside his bedroom window. The curtains barely concealed it, the light pouring desperately through a crack in the material, catching her hair and turning it golden. "We'll sort this today. I promise."

"I hate this."

Roy gathered her in his arms, pulling her body against his. He kissed the top of her head, readjusting his hold so that she could get comfortable. "I do too. Why didn't you say anything?" he whispered. His worry grew exponentially with every passing minute, the more he thought about her current situation. The words in that text refused to leave him alone in the few hours they had spent together. As they had become even closer under his sheets, it was relegated to the back of his mind. Once they were spent, all it took was one look at Riza's face to remind himself of why exactly she had come here in the first place. Riza sharing his bed was just a happy consequence.

He hadn't intended it to escalate the way it had, but the air between them had become charged throughout their "date" last night. All night they had been flirting with danger during their fake date, so this morning was inevitable. Roy was thrilled, of course. When she had begun to tug his t-shirt over his head Roy was powerless to stop her.

"I could handle it –"

"I don't doubt it," he reassured her. "However, this isn't something that should be taken lightly."

"I'm not underestimating what he could do, Roy," she replied, tone holding a bite to it as she gently pulled away from his embrace.

"Well, what then?" Riza was silent. "You said this had happened before, that it had escalated. Why not tell anyone?"

"Because I was too scared," she hissed, the fire in her eyes burning into his own. The room was silent as he looked at her, watched her, felt his heart breaking for her. There was an overwhelming urge inside him, telling him to protect this woman at all costs and hold her dear, for she is a gem and he would never do better than Riza Hawkeye. Roy had known that for a while now, however it didn't begin to set in until he held her in this moment. "I've been terrified… for the last three weeks," she whispered.

Roy kissed her forehead. "Will you let me help?"

"I…"

"It's okay if you don't want to," he whispered quietly, mistaking her silence. "I understand."

"It's nothing like that," she replied, shaking her head.

"Then what is it then?" he asked gently.

"I never thought this would happen. After what he sent, I was too scared to tell anyone."

Roy swallowed, hating what he was about to ask. "May I see them? As a friend."

Riza paused, then nodded. As she sat up and reached for her phone Roy felt oddly honoured. This proved she trusted him enough, and while Roy trusted Riza wholeheartedly, it was nice to have it returned, especially in a situation such as this.

As Roy read through the texts Riza had received from Dickhead Dan (a new nickname which seemed wildly more appropriate and fitting than Stick Man Dan) his jaw clenched to the point of being painful. His vision swam as thoughts raged in his head; a select few detailing _exactly_ how painful he would make Dickhead Dan's demise.

"Promise me you won't say anything," Riza begged him. Roy snapped out of his thoughts. There was a pressure and warmth on his hand, which had gone cold the more he read. "Roy, please, you can't."

"_Riza_ –" he began, feeling his anger rise. Not at her, but at the whole situation. She didn't deserve this. Riza was a good person. She was kind, willing to help anyone, and an excellent, caring, friend "I can't just sit and let this happen –"

"_No_," she urged, crossing her legs and folding the duvet over her lap. The t-shirt she was wearing that Riza had borrowed from him was slightly too big, the neckline drooping forward a little bit. "You _can't_, because this will not only make this worse for me, but for you too and I won't have you dragged into it."

She was right. If he took matters into his own hands it would just make things worse in the long run. Roy wasn't sure if he would be able to keep his cool the next time he saw Dickhead Dan. He didn't need to be charged for assault and divert the attention away from Dan's stalking.

But he couldn't sit idly by and let this happen to Riza.

"All right." He wasn't happy, but in reality there was nothing he could do. If he couldn't stop Dickhead Dan himself then he would do the next best thing, which was looking out and being there for Riza when she needed it most.

She released a long breath, obviously relieved he wasn't fighting her on this. "Thank you."

"Do you want me to go to the station with you?"

Her eyes flicked away from his, then returned shortly afterwards. "Would you mind? I just – I don't want to be alone. Just in case."

"Of course," he smiled, taking her hand in his. This was not the way he pictured the "morning after" their first time together to go, however this was his reality right now. All he could do was wait patiently and be understanding while Riza sorted through this mess – with Roy by her side, of course – and be there for her in case anything happened.

"Just for the record, the next time I see Dickhead Dan, I will picture every way in which I can make his death as painful as possible."

Her lips quirked up at his new nickname for the bastard. "Dickhead Dan?"

"It's more appropriate."

* * *

The police took all the details they could from Riza regarding Dickhead Dan and his stalking escapades. At the mention of his name the two officers shared a look. Something told Roy this was not the first time Dan's name had been mentioned to the police. Apparently, they had had issues with Dan before from his previous girlfriends.

They reassured them both that they would deal with it and advised Riza not to reply to any messages she receives from him. One gave Riza a phone number to call should Dickhead Dan contact her again.

They walked in contemplative silence back to Roy's car. Riza ran through everything the officers said and Roy tried to plan the rest of the day for them so that it would take Riza's mind off everything that was happening.

"Are you busy for the rest of the day?" he asked, hopeful her answer would be no.

His wish was granted.

Riza shook her head. "No."

"What would you say to bowling?"

"Bowling?" Riza asked doubtfully, strapping herself into the passenger seat.

"Yeah. Come on, it will be a laugh."

"I don't see why –"

"Are you a chicken?" he asked, eyes dancing with amusement as he tried to rile her up.

"Not at all, quite the opposite. I would beat your ass at bowling."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You're on, Mustang."

Riza won, of course, however Roy achieved another victory. Riza laughed and joked with him easily, the events of last night and their trip to the station forgotten momentarily. It was like old times, for which he was grateful. One added bonus was when Riza won the last game. With an innocent look on her face as she bowled her third turkey of the day. Roy had jokingly scowled, but that quickly disappeared as she kissed his cheek, the barest hint of a smug smile on her face.

So yeah, just like old times, but now it was even _better_.

* * *

Roy cheerily whistled as he prepared dinner for himself and Riza. It had been a hectic week with work, so he had barely seen her. He had offered to cook dinner and he was currently trying his best not to burn what was in the frying pan while giving Riza a quick text to say dinner would be ready in about ten minutes.

Ten minutes came and went, and Roy frowned to himself. There had been no reply to his text. Shrugging his shoulders, he turned the heat down to the lowest setting to keep it warm. She was probably getting organised. The toes on one of Roy's feet began to tap the wooden floor mildly impatiently as he sat on a chair at his kitchen table. A fleeting thought crossed his mind, reminding him that Riza was never late for _anything_, but it was gone as his phone buzzed, a text from Maes Hughes making him lunge for his phone eagerly.

Another fifteen minutes passed, and Roy turned the heat off completely. Removing his apron – a joke gift from Riza which read "being such a good cook even the fire alarm cheers you on" – he crossed his living room and pocketed his phone. An uncomfortable knot had appeared in his stomach and given his girlfriend's more recent situation he had begun to fear the worst.

They had only been seeing each other for a little over a month, but Roy felt comfortable calling Riza that. After that first day together, they had both discovered that this joining felt like it had been a long time coming. Roy had wondered why they hadn't done it sooner. The chemistry and draw to Riza had always been there, but he hadn't acted on it to respect their friendship. Now, his life felt like there was a touch more colour to it, and it was because of Riza. Their friendship beforehand just amplified his feelings for her.

There had been no more mention of or interaction with Dickhead Dan and while that was concerning itself, he had shrugged and brushed it off, chalking it up to the police putting a stop to it. Riza had not mentioned them getting in touch with her regarding the status of her case, but Roy thought they maybe just hadn't had the time yet.

How wrong he was.

Roy froze outside the door, hearing voices through the apartment door. His eyes widened in recognition, hands flying to his pocket as he quickly dialled the number the police officer had given Riza.

"_You_," Dickhead Dan hissed as Roy entered Riza's main room. Roy froze, his eyes instantly finding Riza's to see if she was okay. She was unharmed, but clutching the front of her hoodie tightly, arms over her chest as it to hide it.

Hide it from _him_.

Roy's world took on a reddish tint.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly. One of Dan's cheeks twitched in irritation.

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I'm her friend. Leave her _alone_."

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't want you, _asshole_. Why can't you take no for an answer?"

"She doesn't know what she wants," Dan scoffed, muttering to himself.

Roy took a step forward, eyes homing in on Dickhead Dan as he begun to turn away from him.

"Roy!" Riza cried desperately. "Stop, please. Go home, I'll –"

"Yes, _Roy_," Dan sneered. "Go home. She doesn't want you here."

"Don't speak for me," Riza barked, the fear disappearing from her face to be replaced by fury. That was when Roy realised, she was scared for _him_, not for herself. Fists clenched by his side, Roy resisted the urge to punch Dan square in the jaw. The satisfaction would be exquisite however Riza asked him not to get involved in that way. The restraint in which he held himself with was incredible. "Don't assume you know what I want. When we dated, you didn't listen to me once. Couple that with your exhausting need to speak to me every second of everyday and controlling behaviour, _that's_ why I ended it. I want _you_ to go, not Roy. He's my friend."

"More than that though, isn't he?" Dan spat, face contorting in rage.

Riza shot up from her seat, rising to meet her stalker head on. "What has that got to do with you?" The anger in her voice was palpable, coating the room and heating Roy's skin as he felt his own anger rise with hers.

"I won't allow it."

"You don't need to allow shit."

"Riza –"

"_Dan_," she growled, defiantly standing up to him. "In what _world_ did you think it was acceptable to sneak into my apartment, huh? In what world did you think it was okay to bug my home and spy on me? Did you _really_ think I would welcome you with open arms after all this shit?!"

Dickhead Dan grabbed Riza's wrist and twisted it painfully and Roy didn't really remember much after that. He stepped forward, striding towards Dan as his fist reared back, landing a punch across Dan's jaw. Riza kicked his knee and Dan stumbled forward with a pained cry.

How _dare_ he touch Riza.

A loud banging on the door interrupted their altercation and Riza sprinted for the door. Two police officers took one look at Dan and removed their weapons from their holsters, training it on him.

* * *

"Dinner?" Roy asked quietly as he ushered Riza into his apartment. He placed her overnight bag by the door and locked it behind him, placing the chain across it.

"I'm not really hungry now," she replied quietly.

"You have to try and eat something," he urged gently. "How about a little bit? Not to brag, but I made it myself and it's really good."

That made her lips quirk up into a tired smile. "All right, a little bit." As they ate Riza ate more than she had originally planned. "This is actually really good."

"Did you ever doubt me?"

"Well, there was a reason I got you that apron for Christmas last year."

Roy chuckled. "I've matured since then. I think you'll find I'm cooking at an eighteen-year-old level."

"Wow," Riza replied sarcastically. "Look at you. Soon you'll be able to do your taxes all by yourself like a real boy." Roy snorted. No, there was a reason he kept Maes around, precisely for that. He was much better with taxes than Roy.

"You jest, but who will be laughing when you phone in a favour from out dear friend Maes Hughes because you've confused yourself," Roy grinned as he watched Riza's cheeks heat up.

"That was _one_ time, thank you very much." She skewered her pasta. "At least I can do mine like a normal adult."

"If it were a normal practice, we would have no need to accountants in the world, and yet there are plenty."

"Shut up," she muttered sticking her tongue out at Roy, to which he grinned in response.

"You tell me to be quiet because you know I'm right."

"_No_, I tell you to be quiet because you're a pain in the _ass_."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Case and point."

Roy pointed his loaded fork in her direction. "Payback for that comment with be just and swift."

Riza snorted. "Don't ask for the truth if you can't handle it."

"Valid point. If I'm such a pain in the ass though, why are you still here?" he questioned, waggling his eyebrows as he swallowed what was on his fork, awaiting her answer.

Riza shrugged, a smirk on her face. "Even if you are, you're nice to look at." Roy puffed up his chest proudly. "Not the best," she added with a playful grin. "But you'll do."

Riza cackled and was out of her chair before Roy's fork hit his plate. He chased her into his bedroom as Riza paused at the doorway, a _very_ inviting smile on her face as she disappeared into the dark room with an excited grin. She squealed as Roy's hands lay on her hips, spinning her around as his lips eagerly sought hers. The giggle was replaced with a moan and the outside world – along with their food – was forgotten as they fell onto his bed, searching hands pulling clothes off each other.


	3. can tell i'm not afraid to be

**AN: surprise bitch bet you thought you'd seen the last of me!**

**i got three new prompts and uhhh i've applied them all to this au bc i love it and needed an excuse to come back to happy modern day au royai**

**so sue me**

**waddiwasiwitch came through with this prompt! (written at the top of the chapter) thank you for that and hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"_**Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooo." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"**_

* * *

_**when you're next to me, can tell i'm not afraid to be**_

"Riza, why is there so much _stuff_ in here?" Roy asked, looking around his living room. All of sudden, there were piles of boxes cluttering up the space that used to be his own. Apparently, now his girlfriend had taken over and moved half of her belongings into his apartment while he'd been at work.

He'd been joking this morning when he said she would be better just moving in with him completely rather than returning home to her apartment to sleep only to let herself in either through the night or around six in the morning anyway to wait for him to wake up. Most of the time, it was by climbing into his bed. Waking up holding Riza when he had gone to sleep in an empty bed was always a nice surprise. And while it was incredibly adorable, it wasn't practical in the slightest and they both knew it.

Not that Roy never wanted the move to happen, he just didn't expect to come home after work on a Friday night to see all her stuff sitting there. It had been a long day at the office, and he had been looking forward to just relaxing on his couch, Riza lying against him, as they watched a movie.

That didn't look like it was going to happen.

He dumped his briefcase by the door, hitting the floor with an exhausted _thud_ as he loosened his tie around his neck. He shrugged out of his suit jacket when Riza appeared in the room, looking slightly sheepish.

"Sorry, I'd hoped to have it all out of the way before you came home."

"It's fine," he replied, but he cringed internally at how it sounded. Exhausted, like it really wasn't fine, but he was only saying that to placate her.

Riza looked slightly disappointed and she nodded. "Sorry. Just ignore me, I won't be long."

"No," he interjected. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound so disappointed. It's been a very long day," he elaborated, closing the distance between them. He grasped her hands with a smile, pulling her body gently towards her for a kiss. "I was joking this morning when I suggested it," he chuckled. "However, it would be a massive improvement to my current living situation."

Riza looked up at him uncertainly, gauging the truth in his words through the expression on his face, the look in his eyes. He loved it when she studied him like this, completely sussing him out, and there was no one on this earth who could do it better.

"Seriously. Now that it's here I…" he trailed off, blushing slightly, unused to speaking about such serious things with someone else. He had never had a relationship like this. Most ran the course of a few months before the two drifted apart, each losing interest in the other. There had been one-night stands, but both those types of relationships combined were not nearly as satisfying as what he now shared with Riza. "I'm excited."

The most commitment he'd ever shown was to a goldfish he'd owned three years ago and that was only because Hughes had stated Roy was so afraid of committing himself to another person, he couldn't even keep a pet.

It was three years later, and that goldfish was still alive, thank you very much, Hughes, but the thought of commitment had still scared the hell out of him.

Now though, with Riza in front of him, her belongings littered around his apartment, he didn't feel scared at all.

He felt excited.

Roy was eager for this next step because it involved _her_. They'd only been together for about six months, but he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. When he thought of the future he could picture the house in the suburbs, the white picket fence, the children and dogs running riot in the front garden while they either ran around with them or sat on the front porch, simply observing and thinking about how lucky they had become in life.

Plus, it only made sense Riza would move in. After Dickhead Dan left his mark on her apartment, she still didn't feel comfortable in there. She returned to her apartment each night – purely because she was to stubborn to admit defeat (something Roy admired her for because if he was in that situation, he would be _outta_ _there_) – but Roy could see it affecting her. She was still afraid, that's why she crept into his bedroom in the middle of the night half the time, too afraid to sleep in her own room, alone, just in case someone was still watching.

Of course, Roy readily accepted her company. After spending so much time with her already he ached when they were apart. It was dramatic, but it was true. He missed her so much when she went on holiday with Catalina a month ago to Aerugo. The day after she arrived home they didn't venture far from his bedroom.

"_Maybe we could take a trip there someday?_" she had asked, hopeful. Roy had wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her body against his as he kissed the top of her head.

"_Your wish is my command, my lady_."

They were going there in forty-six days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes. Not that he had a countdown app on his phone or anything.

"Are you really?" Riza asked, biting her lip as she looked around the room. Roy drew her even closer, giving her forehead a quick kiss.

"Of course, I am. Do you think I would lie?" he chuckled, teasing her.

"No, but I know not everyone would appreciate someone moving into their apartment without asking –"

"You basically live here already," he interrupted. "It makes sense." He gave her another peck, this time on the cheek. "Ever since you stole my first hoodie, I knew you would be moving in sometime soon." A smile broke across her face. "Sorry I haven't brought it up more. I know how uncomfortable your apartment makes you now, and I realise I probably should have mentioned it sooner."

A hand was placed on his cheek and he leaned into her touch. "You've been busy, I get it. I kind of dropped in at an inconvenient time."

He turned his head and kissed her palm. "You are _never_ an inconvenience to me… Well, only when you steal my favourite hoodie," he grinned.

Riza shoved him playfully and they laughed together.

"Come on, let's get started with all this stuff," Roy announced.

"No, it's fine, you get washed up, I'll –"

"I'm not leaving you to unpack all by yourself. The more hands, the less time it will take," he reasoned with a cheery grin, picking up a box and beginning to look through the contents. Excitement bubbled in his stomach because _Riza was moving in with him_.

He was ecstatic.

A couple of hours later they finally moved the majority of Riza's things. There was one box left but it was nearing eight o'clock and they were too exhausted to do anymore.

"Future problem?" Roy had asked tiredly, jerking his head towards the box.

"Future problem," Riza agreed, pushing herself up from the floor. She extended a hand to him, hauling Roy to his feet.

"I'll get wash up. Do you want to order a takeaway? I really can't be bothered cooking tonight."

"I'm glad we're on the same page," she smiled, kissing him.

He paused at before his bedroom door, turning to his right to begin rifling through the neatly folded pile of laundry.

Speaking of stealing his clothes…

"Have you seen my hoodie?" Roy asked, pretending to look through the clothes for it. "The black one with the raid logo in the middle?" It was his favourite lounge hoodie from his favourite console game he played with Havoc and Hughes. And, he knew exactly where it was without having to ask. Riza was wearing it right now

He was only an inch or two taller than her, but he always knew when she was wearing his. This one was slightly larger than his usual size – it was big even on him – so the cuffs were bunched around her wrists. She always favoured the slightly larger clothing, especially his. Roy loved watching her curl her legs underneath her body and burrow down inside the fabric, just her eyes peeking over the neckline. It made his heart swell with love to see her so comfortable with him that she wore his clothes.

"Nooo..."

Roy smirked but hid it when he turned around to face Riza. "You're wearing it, aren't you?" This time he couldn't hide the smirk.

"So, what if I am?" she challenged haughtily, but there was amusement on her face, her eyes dancing with the challenge.

"Well," he considered, taking slow steps towards her, mindful of her boxes. "I'll just have to take back what's mine," he threatened, a wolfish smile on his face.

Riza fluttered her eyelashes. "Come and get it then, Roy," she purred.

He pounced on her as Riza laughed.


	4. you never let me fall

**AN: this ended up running out of control but i couldn't be happier with the results these two are such dORKS in this au and i won't apologise for it uwu**

* * *

"_**Am I your lock screen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."**_

* * *

"Roy could you get that?" Riza called from the bathroom. There was no answer. Huffing in frustration she quickly rinsed the shampoo from her hair. This call was important, one she had been waiting on all morning and afternoon. The minute she had stepped in the shower, her phone rang. Typical.

"Roy!"

_He better not be asleep_, Riza thought to herself. He had a knack of falling asleep any time, any place, and she had just left him five minutes ago to go shower to prepare for her night out with Rebecca Catalina. Ringing her hair out hurriedly, she called his name again, desperate for an answer. She contemplated grabbing a towel to answer it herself.

Roy started on the couch, his body jerking at the rude awakening. Towards the end of his dream there had been an incessant ringing and buzzing in his ear, trying to disturb his peace.

"_Roy_!" Riza tried one last time, letting her irritation show.

"What?" he yelled back, irritated. His eyes closed of their own accord, fighting the sleep which had a tight hold on him.

"The phone!"

"What about it?" he groaned, cracking an eye open to glare at the offending piece of technology. It was so _loud_. It was unnecessary.

"For God's sake, answer it!"

Roy sighed and blindly felt for her phone and slid to answer, not even bothering to look at who was calling. Riza had mentioned something about an important call but for the life of him he couldn't remember who it was that would be calling her.

"Hello?" he asked, voice thick with sleep, trying not to sound too rude towards the person who had disrupted his slumber.

Before he heard the other person's answer, the phone was plucked from his grasp. Water dripped on his hand and down his arm. Confused, Roy craned his neck to look up at Riza who was standing beside him in nothing but a towel.

_Now_ he was awake.

After the whole fiasco with Dickhead Dan, Riza had moved into his apartment fairly quickly. It started off by her just stealing the odd hoodie. Then she claimed space in the bathroom for her toothbrush with the excuse that the majority of the meals he cooked contained far too many onions and far too much garlic – he liked them both, so sue him. The rest was history and now it was two years later.

The best two years of Roy's life, if he was being perfectly honest.

Sleep continued to hold its grip on him, and his eyes drifted closed as Riza continued to talk. He listened to the sound of it, letting her guide him back to unconsciousness. He found comfort in everything she did and listening to her voice was no different. Within a few seconds he felt himself losing his grip on reality once more.

The phone hit him square on the chest. Roy grunted in pain, eyes blearily making their way open once more.

"Let me rest, woman," he grumbled.

"Thanks for answering the phone for me like I asked," she bit back, but there was amusement in her tone. She had re-entered the living room, clothed and towelling her hair dry. Roy yawned loudly, stretching on the couch after sitting up. Cool air brushed over his now exposed abdomen and he shivered.

"Listen…" He found he had no answer to give her. It was Saturday afternoon, so it wasn't like he'd had a tiring day at work. Perhaps it was their night time activities making him more lethargic during the day, but there was no way in hell he was going to put a stop to _that_.

"Yes?" she asked sweetly, sitting next to him. She pecked his cheek with a grin, her demeanour changing since she answered the phone. Perhaps she had noticed just how tired he was. Not that he was trying – or able – to hide it.

"Why was it so important?" he asked, changing the course of the conversation. "I know I asked already," he added quickly to dispel any comment about his inability to pay attention. He would have been able to concentrate if Riza hadn't woken him up at six – still, she was unable to sleep past half six in the morning – with a temptation whispered in his ear that was so great, Roy was awake within a second.

Riza's face softened. "It was my grandfather. He's in town tomorrow and asked if we could possible meet up for lunch. I haven't seen him in over twenty years so… This is going to be special. I didn't want to miss his call because I have no way of returning it."

"Surely you could call him back?"

She shook her head. "He works very high up in the government and was calling from work. There's no way to take an incoming call in his office."

"Now I see why you wanted me to answer it," he stated the obvious.

One corner of Riza's mouth quirked upwards. "I just…" She clasped her hands together, crossing her legs as she stared down at them. She was fully facing Roy now, her wet hair swept over one shoulder. "It's been so long and he's the only family I have left. I didn't want to mess it up."

Roy grasped her hand, giving it a squeeze. "You won't," he reassured her, stifling another yawn.

"How are you so tired today?" she asked suddenly, still amused.

"_Someone_ woke me up too early this morning." He shot her a pointed look.

Riza looked unashamed. "I didn't hear you complaining. In fact, you did the opposite," she grinned.

"Very funny," he replied sarcastically, narrowing his eyes at her when she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Is it so wrong to rest my eyes for two seconds?" he asked, leaning back and closing them once more. He crossed his ankles, stretching his legs out as he sat on the couch, clasping his hands on his stomach.

"Two seconds?" he heard her reply. "No. An hour and a half? On a Saturday afternoon? When we're both off work?" She was still grinning so he couldn't be in too much trouble. "Yes."

He cracked one eye open. "I –" He had no further answer to give because yes, that sounded like him. Riza laughed at his expression and Roy couldn't stop himself from grinning at the sound.

"Anyway, I'm going to get ready, then you can sleep in peace. Rebecca will kill me if I'm late."

"Riza Hawkeye? Late for anything in her life ever? You're having a laugh."

"Well, actually…" Roy cracked an eye open again, noticing the change in her tone. It had become more subdued, bordering on worried. He turned his head, opening both eyes, taking in her slightly fearful expression. She offered no further explanation, instead her eyes flitted left and right before dropping to the floor, her shoulders hunching slightly.

"Riza?" he asked, concerned, sitting up. "What is it? What's wrong?" He hadn't seen her like this since…

Well, since the night he had punched Dickhead Dan in the face.

"I… I am… late."

"For what?" Roy asked after a pause, his brain not slotting the pieces into place. When her head lifted and he saw her face, it still didn't click.

"You know," she urged, shifting her weight from foot to foot. "I'm _late_."

Suddenly, everything became crystal clear. His stomach didn't just drop, it torpedoed all the way into the centre of the earth, leaving him gaping at his girlfriend in his living room without it.

He stuttered, his brain trying to formulate _anything_ to say to her.

Late… _Late_. As in… Pregna…

"Roy, I'm kidding."

As Riza broke out into barking laughter he threw the couch pillow at her as hard as he could. "Not funny!" he yelled to her retreating form. She was still cackling away as he heard the bathroom door close.

"Maybe not to you," she giggled.

Grumbling, he lay back on the cushions, trying to calm his racing heart.

"Pregnant," he muttered under his breath, stifling the feeling of fear that came with that word. Of course, that was ultimately the end game, however he was much too young and unprepared to deal with something like a child right now. Most would argue he was a child himself, and that it was a good thing Riza had come along when she did "to take care of him". Of course, Catalina had laughed heartily at that.

Speaking of, Riza's phone – which had slid off his chest when Roy sat up – was face up and the screen lit up with a notification of a text from Catalina. What really drew his attention was the photo on the lock screen. All thought of her previous cruel joke was cast aside, and his face softened.

It was taken by Riza when they were on holiday in Aerugo. He was on the beach, the sea in front of him as he looked to the left, sunglasses on his face. He hadn't been too far away when she took it, but far enough so his whole body and back fit the length of her screen.

He had been pulling dumb poses simply because it had made Riza laugh while she snapped away. This one, however, had been a quiet moment after all the hilarity. He'd thought Riza was dozing on the sun lounger and had just spent a quiet moment admiring the sea before him, the sun turning the surface to diamonds. He distinctly remembered thinking how lucky he was to be in this situation with the woman he loved. Come to think of it, he had stood and returned to the sun loungers to find a sleeping Riza.

Had she been _faking it?_ he wondered, scandalised.

Vainly, he thought just how good his shirtless back looked, however what really dominated his thoughts was the fact that Riza had chosen that photo in particular to set as her lock screen. He chuckled. Someone liked what they saw, and that worked wonders for his ego.

"Am I your lock screen?" he asked when she entered the room again, holding up the phone and feeling too pleased with himself when her cheeks turned bright red. It was adorable but at the same time karma was a bitch and it was her turn to be the butt of a joke.

"You weren't supposed to see that," she muttered, trying to snatch the phone out of his hands. Roy, of course, leapt up from the couch and held it above his head. They were the same height so he didn't doubt she would be able to reach it. The method she would use to attempt to retrieve her phone, Roy was unsure. It begun to buzz in his hand, the screen lighting up with an incoming call and a picture of Catalina. "Give it back," she demanded.

"Ah, ah," he tutted, holding it even further away from her grabbing hands. "Why this one in particular?" he teased as he grinned. "And how long has it been that one? I thought it was that photo of us both in Creta."

"It _is_," she stressed, still trying in vain to retrieve her phone and end the embarrassment. Roy wouldn't let that happen, however. He was having too much fun.

"This one isn't from Creta."

"_Thank you_ Captain Obvious. It's a slideshow," she elaborated, sighing exasperatedly and rolling her eyes. "I just never expected you to see that one in particular."

"Like what you see that much?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows. Riza huffed in response, her cheeks turning a shade of pink. Roy just laughed at her expense. That, however, only made her more irritated. It couldn't have been that bad though, because Roy could see the smile threatening to break through on her face. "Karma is a bitch, Riza Hawkeye, and it's time you learned that."

"Roy," she scolded, trying again to reach for her phone, but her amusement leaked through. "Give me it. You know how she gets when you don't answer her calls."

"Exactly," he grinned. "And I don't have to deal with it all night, but you do."

It was an unexpected course of action Riza used, but one Roy appreciated for its creativity. She stepped onto his couch and leapt onto his back, clinging to it like a monkey. Roy half laughed, half grunted, disbelief taking over so she could effortlessly pluck the phone from his flailing hand and slid to answer, not moving from the spot on his back.

"Hey, Rebecca," she greeted warmly, unconcerned she was still hanging onto him. Roy had been bent over at the waist by her weight and was now standing, back flat, and arms outstretched to keep Riza balanced on his back so she didn't fall. Riza remained in place, apparently very comfortable, just chilling out on his back.

"Riza," he said pointedly, indicating she should get off.

She ignored him.

"Oh, nothing. He's just pouting because I won something."

"_That makes a change_," Roy heard her sarcastic reply. Instead of pouting, his brow furrowed.

"You didn't _win_," he grumbled quietly, still talking towards the floor. He tried to straighten but Riza dug her fingers into his ribs. Roy jerked and laughed loudly, protesting. He shuffled backwards, trying to escape her fingers as they continued to dig into his ribs, but it was to no avail. It was an effort to keep her from falling off. He gripped the back's of her thighs, stopping her from crashing into the coffee table and banging her head.

"_What's going on over there?_" Catalina asked.

"Justice," Riza replied simply. Roy could _hear_ the wicked grin in her voice. Sure enough, he craned his neck around and saw it on her face.

"You're mean," he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

"Shouldn't have tried to steal my phone," she shrugged.

"_Do I need to call back at a later time or? Do you guys need a room for a few minutes_?"

Riza snickered. "No, we don't. I think I've put Roy off that for a few weeks," she giggled.

He huffed and used all his strength to stand up straight, his back protesting painfully as Riza wrapped one arm across his chest and her legs wrapped around his waist, cementing her place against him like a spider monkey. In any other circumstance Roy would be thoroughly enjoying this, but it was true, Riza _had_ put him off any kind of activity in the bedroom after her joke –

Oh, who was he kidding, he was absolutely enjoying the feeling of Riza's body pressed against his back as she continued to talk to Catalina as if nothing was amiss.

Roy grunted as he shifted, trying to ease the pain in his legs. His thighs were beginning to burn. Instead of climbing down _like a normal person_, Riza just shifted her grip as she continued to speak.

"_Riza_," he tried again.

"Yeah, just a minute. I'm comfy."

She snickered when she felt him freeze.

"That's it," he muttered, shrugging his shoulders to try and shift her grip. Of course, Riza just gripped tighter. Trying another tactic, he turned towards the couch and bent low and bucked, tickling her behind the knees to loosen her grip on him. He tried to flip her over his head, and it worked. She shrieked, piercing his eardrum with the volume. It's a wonder Roy didn't hear Catalina protest through the earpiece.

Roy straightened, staring down at a dishevelled Riza on his couch, staring back up at him as she laughed and felt something different from pride at his expertly hatched plan stir inside him.

"It's a wonder Catalina didn't comment on _that_."

"She hung up ages ago."

"What?" he asked in disbelief, breathing hard after his escape attempt, hands moving from his hips to falling loose by his sides.

"Yeah, I just wanted to see what you would do," Riza replied, her own chest rising and falling as she breathed hard. There was a glint in her eye, showing her mischievous streak.

Roy's own eyes flashed. He gripped her hand tightly, pulling her up rapidly so she stumbled, bumping into his chest as the air around them shifted. He smirked. He couldn't imagine his life without her now, especially with all the shenanigans and laughter Riza brought with her. Even from day one, before they were together, they had always joked around like this. Being the third wheels, they had to find some way to entertain themselves and that mostly involved dumb shit that left them in fits of giggles.

He lifted her up by the waist so _this_ time she had her legs wrapped around his waist from the front. Roy begun the walk towards their bedroom as he eyed her hungrily with desire.

"Wait," Riza laughed. "Rebecca will be here in half an hour."

Roy glanced at the clock then shrugged. "We've got time."

The bedroom door banged loudly behind them as Riza laughed. However, it was soon cut off when Roy pressed his lips against her, turning her laughter into moans.


	5. please tell me that you've got me

**AN: ok uhhhh don't hate me for like 6k words worth of angst lmaoooo enjoy**

**thank you aoife for this gem i'm glad i could turn it ointo another chapter of this au bc i love it so much uwu**

* * *

"_**Please don't walk out of that door." / "It's cold, you should take my jacket."**_

* * *

"Roy?" Riza asked, her voice small and defeated. He faltered, stopping in front of the door of the apartment. He cursed himself internally, eyes closing as he fought off the rising tears. It hurt to swallow around the lump in his throat.

Things had all been going so well recently. When had it reached this point?

Looking back Roy couldn't even pinpoint where it had all gone wrong. It had obviously happened slowly, but he had been oblivious to it. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and it had been fucking bliss. Roy had been so happy he'd been turned blind.

Had he all imagined it? The holidays, the date nights, the time they spent together intimately… Had Roy thought it was so much more than it was?

Apparently, he had.

"Please don't walk out that door," Riza choked out.

That's when the anger made itself known.

Here she was, begging him to stop, when _she_ had been the one who'd initiated this, not him. She didn't get to turn the blame on him. No _fucking_ way.

Roy whirled around, eyes shining, only to come face to face with her desolate self. But he was too angry to care. He had given _five years_, his whole self – heart, body, and soul – to her, and Roy had gotten paid in dirt.

"I'm going home."

"_This_ is your home," she stressed.

"Not with you in it. Not now."

It hurt to say. Riza winced as he said it.

But it was the truth.

"Please –"

"Don't ask me to stay," he spat out. "You've made your feelings known. Don't be selfish."

"I only want to _explain_ –"

"Explain what, exactly?" he rounded on her. "That this was all a sham? That you're now terrified because this was getting out of hand and now you've been caught?" Roy ran his hands through his hair. He was throwing baseless accusations in her face, but his mind was running a mile a minute after his heart had been crushed under the heel of Riza's shoe. He was desperately trying to pinpoint where he'd failed to notice what was going on, but there was nothing.

They'd been happy… Hadn't they?

"I'm leaving."

"Roy, wait –"

"No."

Without another word he closed the apartment door. The slam resonated throughout the entire hallway. Keeping his eyes on the carpet so he wouldn't see her old apartment door. It just reminded him of how far they had both come in the last five years.

And it had all been for nought.

When walking down the stairs – his feet landing heavily with every step – he dialled Rebecca's number on his phone.

"Roy!" Rebecca greeted cheerily. "So, how's the infamous date night going?" She laughed. "That bad you needed to call me?" she asked, joking.

"Riza's in our apartment," he stated, numb.

"Roy?"

"She – She needs someone right now. Can you go and see her?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line before Catalina spoke.

"What did you do?" she asked fiercely.

Roy laughed to himself, but the sound was flat, dead.

"Love her unconditionally."

* * *

Riza sat on the couch in Roy's apartment – it was back to his now, not theirs – completely numb.

It was his because she'd screwed it all up.

Someone banged on the door loudly. The following creaked stopped the pounding as the door swung open. She hadn't closed the apartment door properly in her daze.

"Riza?" a worried voice called.

_Oh, shit_. _Rebecca_.

"What happened?" Rebecca asked fiercely, seeing Riza's current state. She seemed set on the warpath, no doubt to kick Roy's ass, but he'd done nothing wrong.

He'd done nothing but love her and look where that had gotten him.

"Riza?" she asked, giving her shoulders a squeeze to try and drag her back to the present. "Roy called saying you needed someone right now. What happened?"

Her head snapped up at that. He had called Rebecca… To come and look after her…

Riza burst into tears.

* * *

Roy slammed down the shot glass on the table miserably.

"Oh, Roy boy," Chris sighed, as if to say, "_what am I going to do with you?_". "I'm sorry, kid."

"So am I," he replied gruffly. Sorry he had wasted his time.

Chris wordlessly offered him another drink. This was a dangerous game but if his foster mother was offering them on the house then he wasn't going to say no.

"I've lost her, Chris," he warbled, unable to hold back any longer. "I've lost her, and I don't know how to get her back."

Chris voice was soft, and dread pooled in his stomach because that _never_ happened.

This really was it.

"Then maybe you aren't meant to. Maybe not in this case. Not if she doesn't want it." It wasn't what he wanted to hear, but it _was_ the truth. He wouldn't force her into marriage, into having kids. He wasn't a monster.

He wished he could take back that stupid joke about marriage and then the following question asking her opinion on it.

"_What would you say if I asked you to marry me right now?_" he had grinned, half joking, half truly interested in her response.

Instead he received a punch in the gut.

Riza had looked panicked, face stricken. "_No_," she had said.

His head hit the top of the bar with a dull _thud_.

* * *

"You...! You!" Rebecca stuttered, her anger boiling underneath her skin. She had every right to be angry. Riza had hurt one of her closest friends in such a horrible way that whatever onslaught was coming Riza's way, she would accept it wholeheartedly because it was what she deserved.

"Don't hold back, Rebecca," Riza interjected, tone monotonous. "You never have before."

"You are a _moron_," she stated, slapping a hand to her forehead. "How could you _do _that to him."

"I'm a bad person," Riza replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"Don't you _dare_ act so nonchalant about this," Rebecca spat. But Riza couldn't help it. She had shut down, so lost in her grief, that her emotions were unable to pierce through that gate. Her whole life she had found it difficult to be open about her emotions. Roy had been –

Her breath caught in her throat, a shudder running through her entire body as she took a gasping breath.

Roy had been the one to help with that. His love, laughter, care, and joy had helped Riza draw her feelings out from deep within herself. For the first time in a relationship she had truly felt happy with her partner and it was all because of Roy. Not only was he her lover, but her best friend, and she couldn't picture a future – or a life – without him in it, even now.

Why did she have to panic? Seize up? Deny him – deny them _both_ – the one thing that would make them both the happiest people on the planet?

She just thought back to Dan and her previous relationships and how they'd all been tyre fires. She'd been hurt so many times in every case that when Roy offered her the next step, she turned it down. It was only because it was so huge, she feared being hurt on such a grand scale. Because, in her mind, Roy would hurt her like every other relationship she had shared. Her father, her previous boyfriends… They had all hurt her, scarred her. Roy would be no different.

So, when he asked her to marry him, she turned him down because she panicked. She didn't want to be hurt when she'd already committed herself to him for life. It would only hurt even more. Doing it now was a kindness to herself.

That's what Riza told herself.

Coward. Liar. A sham.

She had panicked, pure a simple. These were just excuses she was using to try and justify it.

Because that was the thing though, wasn't it? Roy was _nothing_ like those other men in her life. He had shown her nothing but love and support, even when they were friends. There was _no_ guarantee he would hurt her. Riza, subconsciously, knew for a fact that he wouldn't.

But she was scared.

Even after everything with Dan, he'd been nothing but understanding and concerned for her welfare. He never pushed her into anything. He offered her shelter in her time of need. Their relationship was just a happy accident – one she had accepted wholeheartedly because Roy Mustang was, and always had been, a huge source of comfort in her life. He was warmth, safety, joy.

So why had she burned that to ash?

"What do you want me to say?" Riza whispered.

"Do you _know_ just how much he changed for you?" Rebecca demanded.

Riza's eyes lazily found hers. "I never asked him to –"

"Oh no, I know you never. He was an asshole before he met you. A friend, but an asshole. He slept around, had a really poor attitude towards life and other people, but all that changed when you popped up. It was like he was trying to impress you. And when I saw it was more than just that, that's when I knew."

"Rebecca –" Riza whispered, desperate for her to stop. Tears were already falling freely down her face.

"I knew the _minute_ he met you that he liked you. Watching that grow into love was a wonderful thing, because I knew it was genuine. He would always get so broken up when you were with other men. I told him time and time again to ask you out, but do you know what he told me?"

Riza shook her head, face crumpling as her head bowed, shoulder hunching, back rounding as she gasped for breath. Her body was curling in on itself, a natural reaction to the pain throbbing in her chest. "Rebecca, _please_."

"He told me he didn't think he was good enough for you." The following silence allowed those words to ring in Riza's head painfully. She gasped as she sobbed, but Rebecca didn't let up, even when her own voice wobbled. "He told me he didn't want to fuck up what you both shared already because you meant so much to him."

"Stop –"

"When Dan showed up Roy knew there was something fishy about him. He found out about some of the weird behaviour and I watched him almost worry himself into an early grave as he paced in Havoc's and I's living room, waiting for a reply from you to say you were home, safe.

"He never said anything because he didn't want you to think he was jealous – he absolutely was – and was out to ruin your relationships. He respected you and your choice. He was your best friend, Riza," Rebecca finally finished, reminding her painfully.

"Please."

"You don't get to ask me to stop," Rebecca whispered, her own voice thick with emotion. "Because you've hurt that poor man. He gave you _everything_. And at the first sign of moving forward you back out."

"Rebecca, _stop_!" she cried, her sobs filling the apartment. They wracked her body harshly, her form shaking uncontrollably.

"No." Riza's eyes popped open, coming face to face with her knees.

_No more, please._

But it was what she deserved.

"I know," Riza sniffed. "I deserve all of this. But please, don't. I already… I…"

"I know," she murmured but offered her no further comfort.

"I – I don't know why you're still here."

"Because you're my friend." A pair of arms circled around Riza and she whimpered, unable to stop herself from leaning into Rebecca's comfort. "You're my friend, I love you, but Roy is my friend too."

"I know," Riza whispered.

"I don't approve of what you did, and I'm quite angry about it, however everyone needs somebody. I won't abandon you, especially when I can see how broken up you are."

"I've lost him," she sobbed.

"So, what the fuck are you doing sitting here?"

"I… I can't –"

"You _can_," Rebecca stressed, giving her shoulders a squeeze. "You love that man and you've been with him for over five years. You most certainly can because you owe him that much."

Riza buried her face in one of her hands as best she could, her limbs partially trapped by Rebecca's embrace.

She was a fucking coward. No wonder she'd never had a successful relationship before – disregarding the fact that she sure knew how to pick all the weirdos. She was a scared child masquerading as a woman.

A child who was so scared of getting hurt she pushed away everyone who ever got close to her because she "knew" they would leave or hurt her eventually. It was a defence mechanism, nothing more.

Why did she have to be like that?

Roy didn't deserve that.

* * *

"Where is he?" a quiet voice pleased in the room behind him.

He froze in his chair, eyes stuck on the amber liquid in his shot glass. Slightly terrified, he lifted his eyes to his aunt, whose eyes were on the door. Her expression was sour as she sucked on her teeth in disapproval. Without a word she rounded the bar and approached Vanessa.

"Sorry," Vanessa replied coolly. "But –"

"I'll take it from here, Vanessa," his aunt stated.

"Of course, Madame."

Roy heard nothing more for a while, but Vanessa squeezed his shoulder and offered him a small smile as she walked through the back of the bar.

"Riza," Chris greeted. Her tone could match the temperature of ice.

"Where is he?" Riza repeated. "I need to –"

"You don't _need_ to do anything," Chris replied. "I think you've done enough."

Roy closed his eyes. He didn't want to deal with this right now. He wanted to be left _alone_. However, if he dealt with this conversation now, it would be over with, and he could continue to wallow in his grief in peace.

"Chris." He announced his presence quietly, but it was enough. He almost gasped when he saw the state of Riza. Her hair was sticking up haphazardly in place and looked wet. She was shivering, wearing nothing but the t-shirt and jeans she had been wearing when Roy left her. Had she walked all the way here like _that_?

His suspicions were cleared when he saw a car parked outside the door, Rebecca looking upon their conversation from within. She nodded at Roy once before indicating to pull away onto the street. It was against the law to park right outside the door, so she had to drive away to find somewhere to park while she waited.

"What do you want?" he asked, hollow, once Chris had left them to enter the back room. Roy escorted Riza into the empty bar front.

"I'm sorry." The sound of her voice matched his. He offered her nothing, simply waiting for her to say her piece and then go. "Can… Can you say something?" she begged to his silence. "Please?"

"What more do you want from me, Riza?" Roy asked tiredly. "Please, tell me, because I'm struggling here. I gave you everything, and you want nothing more."

"I know you did," she sniffed, wiping away a tear. "I don't want anything else. I –"

"Well then, why are you _here_?" he asked, his frustration finally showing. He had misunderstood her, but Roy was unaware of it. He never even gave her a chance to correct herself, but then again, Riza never tried to amend herself. "Haven't you don't enough already? Your feelings were made clear. Why drag this out for longer than necessary?"

Silence filled the bar. The door to the back room opened slowly and Chris stood in the doorway, a reminder that Riza better not toy with his emotions anymore, and certainly not in here.

"That's fine," she whispered, defeated. There was a certainty to her tone that Roy really didn't want to hear, but there was no future for them now. Not after she declined his offer of marriage. He wanted it, he wanted to start a family, but Riza didn't.

And Roy didn't want to do it with anyone else. He wanted to do it with her.

That image of the house in the suburbs, the picket fence, the children and dogs running around the garden shattered like his heart, the dust of both their remains settling uncomfortably in his stomach.

It was time they split.

Five years wasted. Just like that.

Roy closed his eyes briefly as a tear escaped.

"I'll go," she whispered.

It was like a dagger in his chest.

"Yes, I think you should."

When the door opened, he noticed the relentless pounding of the rain. He would have laughed if he wasn't so upset at the appropriate weather for tonight. He also noticed that Riza was stepping outside into the winter wind howling outside wearing nothing but a t-shirt.

"Riza," he called back, cursing himself. Because despite her not wanting to be with him, Roy still loved her with his whole heart and would hate to see her suffering. "It's cold outside," he muttered. He lifted his jacket off the peg by the door, handing it to her with sad eyes. "You should take my jacket."

His aunt sniffed in disapproval behind him. Riza's eyes flicked over at the sound, face stricken when she saw the look on his adoptive mother's face, which Roy didn't doubt looked like the thunder raging above them outside.

"Thank you," she whispered. He draped it over her shoulders, telling himself this was the last thing he would do for her.

But what was the point in lying to himself?

He'd give her the moon, still, if she asked for it.

"That will fade with time," Chris told him once he took up his place at the bar again.

"I wouldn't be so sure," he smiled sadly. Before it could wobble and fall off his face, Roy lifted his glass and took another shot, the burn replacing the one in his chest.

* * *

She had tried.

Riza had tried to explain herself, and rightly so, Roy turned her down. He didn't want to get hurt again.

Oh, Riza knew _all_ about that.

That was what this whole dumb situation she had created was based on, wasn't it?

Rebecca dropped her off then returned home after Riza convinced her she would be fine.

But Riza would never be fine again.

In her fear of getting hurt she had harmed the one person she had ever been in love with. The one person she never wanted to.

The walls closed in on her, suffocating her.

She couldn't stay here anymore. She needed out. This was where it had all happened. The first time they slept together, their mornings spent quietly enjoying breakfast and reading the paper, their evenings spent curled on the couch in each other's arms, watching television.

A pain tore through her chest. It was so painful she doubled over, gasping as tears fell down her face. This was Roy's apartment. She didn't need to taint his life anymore than she already had.

Riza didn't deserve Roy Mustang, and she supposed she never had.

She closed the apartment door, locked it, and fled the building.

* * *

"Can I talk to Riza?" Roy asked tiredly. He hadn't slept at all the night before. Or the night before that. He knew Riza probably wouldn't have wanted to stay in his apartment any longer, and Catalina drove her home the night before, so Roy knew she must be at Catalina's apartment instead.

Havoc and Catalina shared a look. "We… We don't know where she is."

Confused, Roy squinted up at them both, seeing the worry on their faces. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

"Roy, she's not picking up her phone. We've tried the apartment. The door's locked and there's no answer."

"What?" His head pounded, matching the raging beat of his heart. "Wh – What?" he repeated.

Catalina let her true emotions show for the first time since Roy showed up at her door. She looked worried. _Really_ worried. Dread pooled in her stomach, clenching it tightly. He fought off the urge to vomit.

"We've been searching, all day yesterday and all morning," Catalina replied, her desperation shining through. "Roy, I don't know what to do. She's nowhere to be found." Havoc wrapped an arm around her shoulders in comfort.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, outraged.

"We phoned the bar, but your Aunt declined to comment."

Roy felt anger flash through him. He understood Chris was looking out for him, but this was serious. Then again, she might not have known Riza was missing.

Roy almost choked as he thought of the word.

"We've tried everywhere," Havoc cut in, sensing his wife was unable to carry on any longer. "Hughes', her work, your aunt's house, everywhere. The boys helped too – Breda and Falman searched the city but came up with nothing. Fuery looked in public buildings like the library and the museum, but nothing. Do you… Do you know anywhere she might go?"

No, he didn't. Shy of where Havoc had already mentioned, their home, the Hughes', and Catalina's, Roy wasn't sure where else she would flee to in a moment like this.

There was one place…

It was a long shot, but maybe, just maybe…

"There's one place," he began slowly, wondering is he should let them know. It had been told to him in confidence and it had been such a sacred moment to Riza, he didn't know if her best friends already knew about it.

East, in her hometown. She might be there. Riza did say the old house was still standing and she held the deed to it but hadn't been able to return there after her father died. Her mother's grave was out there, and Roy remembered Riza telling him how she would seek out the grave to talk to her mother when things became too much with her father in the house.

Maybe…

"Out east," Roy stated, gauging their reactions. Understanding dawned on them and both shared a look. They had an inkling of what he was talking about, which was good. He wouldn't have to explain it all.

Especially when there was already no time.

* * *

Riza shivered on the cold ground, the winter wind whipping around her body as she sat on the stone path before her mother's grave. This was the second day she had spent here. There was something comforting about being in a graveyard when she had turned her world to hell.

The hotel in town was cheap and would do until she could find a place of her own. At least out here no one would find her. An exiling of her own choice. Well, Roy might, if he remembered. Riza hoped he wouldn't but hoped he would at the same time.

She'd spent all day yesterday sitting here just talking to her mother. There was a comfort in it, Riza thought. One of the people who'd meant the most to Riza brought her comfort in her time of need. It was a shame that she was no longer in the land of the living and the only person she wanted to comfort her no longer wanted anything to do with her.

Roy's jacket brought her some warmth, but every time she shifted his scent shrouded her, bringing forth a fresh seat of tears. By this point she should be fresh out, but sure enough, they fell as she begun to speak.

"I've lost him, Mum," Riza whispered to the cold stone. "I did it. I told him I didn't want to marry him, but I do, I _really_ do. I'm just so scared because everyone in life has left me. My brain is convinced this will be no different. I panicked."

"Oh, Riza…"

Her back stiffened as Roy whispered her name from behind her.

_No._

_Anyone but him._

She stood silently, resigned to the upcoming conversation. The world was silent around them, save for the howling winter wind. She shivered. May as well get it over and done with.

_Because she only wanted him_.

"Riza," Roy breathed, gathering her in his arms tightly. Riza froze, blinking in surprise. _What? _He kissed the top of her head and Riza simply stood there, stunned. "You're all right." He adjusted her grip, hugging her against him even tighter. "Here, take my jacket, you're _freezing_."

Still in shock, Riza simply stood as Roy wrapped her in his jacket like a doll. Of course, that left him in just a hoodie. Instantly she was surrounded in more of his scent and warmth which kicked her brain into gear. Before she could react, she was pulled into his embrace once more. Riza felt the tears well in her eyes.

"I thought we'd lost you," he whispered.

_You already did, thanks to me_.

She pulled away and Roy looked surprised, his outstretched arms falling limp at his sides. His face questioned her, silently asking her _why?_

"Why are you here?" she asked, voice holding that same monotonous quality since the last time he'd seen her.

"Riza… You went _missing_. What were you thinking?" he asked, his frustration creeping into his tone.

_Good. Anger is good. You can work with that_.

"I'm surprised anyone cared."

Roy's eyes flashed but Riza missed it, unable to meet them.

"What are you doing, Riza? Are you _insane_?"

"I'm _trying_ to get on with my life. You made it clear you wanted us to."

"Not by disappearing off the face of the earth with no explanation, no note to say where you've gone," he replied angrily. "I get it if you don't want me to know, but Catalina? Havoc? Hughes? Do _they_ not deserve to know?" he spat, angry that she had worried their friends so. "They had nothing to do with this, so cut the shit."

"Don't give me that," she fired back. "You made perfectly clear you wanted to move on so I came out here to give you that chance."

"By staying in a cheap hotel? With no cash? No clothes? No _concern _for those you left behind?" he snarled.

He was right to be angry about that. Her fight or flight response had kicked in. She fought when she went to his aunt's place to see him. She fought to try and explain herself, but that had failed. She was a failure who couldn't even keep one person close to her. Catalina, Havoc, and the rest were her friends, of course they were, but there was always the element of keeping them at arm's length. Just in case.

Her flight response kicked in when she arrived back in their – _Roy's_ – apartment. She had to escape and get away. Mostly to try and escape the pain, but also because she _knew_ she had fucked up big time and wanted to flee from the responsibility of dealing with it. Growing up had been lonely so she'd never had to deal with conflict, had never learned of a healthy way to deal with it. Disappearing off the face of the Earth seemed like a good idea because then no one back home would have to deal with her and her shit anymore.

"The only reason I _wanted_ to get on with my life," Roy shouted. "Was because _you_ turned _me_ down, Riza, not the other way around. Don't you fucking _dare_ try to blame this on me!"

"I only did it because I know you're the same as all of them," she spat, being incredibly unfair. She just needed him to _leave_. He deserved better than anything Riza could give him. She was protecting him, she told herself.

"And how is that?"

"Because you will just leave like the rest of them." Her voice was as cold as her expression.

She watched as he barked a laugh of disbelief, feeling doubt creep into her mind.

"Do you _honestly_ think I would do that to you?" He laughed again, but there was nothing funny. He raked a hand through his hair. "I fucking asked you to marry me, Riza," he hissed. "Why would I leave you after doing that?"

"Because everyone else has!" she yelled back, finally letting out all her fears. "Every single person in my life has turned against me and I'm just waiting for the rest of you to do the same," she raged, the tears falling thick and fast now. This was revealing too much. Too much to Roy, and too much to herself. She didn't want to admit it because if she did, she might crack. "I'm _so_ unable to be loved by _anyone_ that it was only a matter of time before it happened. Every day," she choked out. "Every day I live with the fear that something will go wrong. I've been complacent recently, but it's still there. I'm _trying_ to protect you –"

"By pushing me away like _this_?" he interrupted, unable to believe what he was hearing. Riza knew it would sound ridiculous but that was only because they didn't understand. _None_ of them did.

"_Yes_!" She was breathing heavily, they both were, too angry to continue their conversation. Riza begun to storm off but was stopped by a hand on her wrist.

"What do you _think –_?"

She was crushed in Roy's arms.

Riza fought him, pushing and hitting his chest to get out of his hold, but she couldn't do it well enough. Her arms were trapped in between their bodies so she could barely move. Her tears continued to fall as she snarled at him, but eventually that anger just turned to sobs. They were loud, _so_ loud. It filled the air in the cemetery as Riza finally let go of all the emotions she had pent up her whole life. She wailed as she clung to the only man who had loved her. Her body crumpled, knees buckling, but Roy held her up. He loved her enough to seek her out when he thought she was missing despite the fact she'd turned down his marriage proposal. She'd hurt him unimaginably and he still worried and looked for her. Still fought for _them_ even though Riza had turned them into a lost cause.

"I – I panicked," she sobbed, body shaking against him. The wind threatened to steal her words, but Roy pulled her tighter against him. "I panicked because no one has ever loved me like you have. Everyone has left me. My mother, my father, even my grandfather twenty years ago. All gone.

"Then Dan did – he did _that_. And all the others before lost interest," she whispered, the last sentence finally shattering her heart as she admitted to herself how she really felt.

The wind was the only sound in the cemetery as Roy held her and Riza cried.

"_I_ love you," he replied fiercely. His voice wobbled and Riza felt his tears hit the top of her head. "_Rebecca _loves you. _Havoc_ loves you. The whole Hughes family, the boys, they _all_ do, Riza." She cried harder. "Don't push us away. You don't think you're good enough for me, but you are the _best _person for me." She sniffled, shaking her head in disagreement. Her face rubbed against his chest and she cringed when she thought she'd probably gotten snot all over it.

What a nice parting gift.

"Before I met you," Roy began, dropping all the anger from his voice. "I was an asshole. I didn't treat those around me as well as I should have. Chris was pissed because she didn't raise such a disrespectful person, and she was right, she didn't, but for some reason I couldn't be bothered by it. After my parents died everything didn't mean much anymore.

"Then you came in." Riza closed her eyes tightly, trying to calm herself down but it wasn't working. So, she clung to him as he spun his tale. "They died about six months before I met you. Those six months were awful, then I met you and we became friends very quickly. I saw you and thought "_wow, she is really beautiful_". But there was no way you would date someone like me," he chuckled. "I was like a frat boy trapped in an grown ass man's body but when I spent time with you I didn't want to be that person anymore, so I bucked up my ideas and strived to be better, just in case there was a chance. I never dreamed there would be," he chuckled.

"Other guys came and went, and I was happy for you. I wasn't happy when they broke up with you, but there wasn't much I could do. It hurt like hell to watch you suffer through every break up but I kept my distance."

But he hadn't though. Riza remembered now, thinking back. After _every single break up_, Roy had been there first to comfort her. He'd sat as sometimes she cried – holding her tight – and he'd laughed with her as she said good riddance, raising a toast with her and the rest of their friends.

He'd never left.

Roy chuckled to himself. "Remember Steve?" Riza nodded, mute. She held her breath in anticipation for what he was going to say. "I saw red when Rebecca told me what had happened." He had hit Riza. Just the once. They'd been dating for about eight months and there had been no other incident of abuse. He'd been really drunk, and they'd been arguing. "The next thing I knew I was at his door ready to beat him to a bloody pulp."

"Why?" was all she asked.

"Because I've loved you for years, Riza, and have been _in_ love with you for about the same amount of time. You deserved the world, but you never got it. So, I vowed to better myself in case my time came so I could give it to you. Doing it as a friend wasn't enough – I wanted to do more – but if that was all I could get, that's what I would take."

New tears fell, her quiet sobs all she could hear.

"Let it all out, Riza. I've got you and I'm not going anywhere. I get your scared, but I swear on my _life_ that I'm not going to leave you. Unless, of course, you ask me to." Barely a second later she shook her head vigorously. "All right then." Riza felt his chest deflate under her head and her hands as he quietly let out a sigh of relief. "Just… let it all out. Let go. I've got you."

And so, she did.

Roy never left or pushed here away, just like he said.

"Hey, I found her."

Riza sat numb in his car as he called their friends.

"She's… She needs some time, and some space." Even Riza didn't know how to answer that question, yet Roy articulated it correctly. He always could tell how she was feeling. "I'm going to take her home."

Once home Riza felt herself stiffen as they approached their apartment door.

"Here, sit down." Roy ushered her onto the couch. She followed his order, feeling ashamed of herself and her actions, and embarrassed. "I'll get you a glass of water."

It appeared in front of her and Riza stared as the air bubbles popped on the surface, unable to bring herself from reaching forward and quench her thirst.

On this very couch was where she had lied and turned down his proposal.

Roy wrapped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her body close to his as they lay there in silence. Riza placed a hand under her head, fingers splaying across his chest.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"Riza, it's okay." His hand rubbed up and down her upper arm before finally settling on her shoulder to give it a squeeze. "You don't need to –"

He was still making excuses for her.

"No," she whispered. "I _do_. I'm so sorry. You deserve more."

"I deserve you," he countered. "If you will let me."

"I shouldn't," she whispered. "I hurt you."

"Because you were scared. You lashed out. Now I finally understand – and knowing your past – I can see how you came to that conclusion. Everyone you've gotten close to in life has hurt you, except your current friends. I understand your apprehension."

"I shouldn't have. I should've been smarter about it –"

"Riza," Roy stated, suddenly sounding very exhausted. "We could be at this all day. I forgive you, okay?" She froze. "I really do. I just want you to be happy. I want to _make_ you happy. I'm fine with putting this behind us because I don't want to upset you even more. I understand why you did what you did, and I will make it my life's mission to prevent it from happening again."

"But it wasn't your fault though, it was mine," she whispered fearfully.

"I know," he nodded. "But the point still stands. I aim to make sure you never feel like this again. Ever. I promise that to you."

What did she ever do to deserve him?

Another tear escaped her but, like Roy, she was tired of all this.

"Get some rest," Roy murmured, kissing the top of her head and shifting on the couch to find a more comfortable position. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

Riza nodded and buried her face into him, closing her eyes to finally rest.

* * *

Butterflies fluttered in Riza's stomach as she walked. Too many people were looking at her. She'd never been one to appreciate or want all the attention in the room focussed on her. When she told Rebecca, her friend had scoffed.

"Well, get used to it," she'd stated, fluffing up Riza's hair at the back so it sat nicer. "It's your wedding day and you look _stunning_. People are going to stare."

However, her eyes focussed on the back of Roy's head as she and Havoc walked down the aisle and a calm washed over her. Once at the front of the procession – Rebecca, Gracia Hughes, and little Elicia watching her with smiles on their faces, the two former bridesmaids with tears in their eyes – Havoc kissed her cheek and took up his place at Roy's right as one of the groomsmen.

Roy turned to face her eagerly, a silly grin on his face. Riza matched his smile as their hands entwined. He was unable to take his eyes off her and Riza felt the same way. He was incredibly handsome in his suit with his hair slicked back. A few stray strands had fallen forward over his forehead and she itched to brush them away.

The man before them begun to welcome the party to the wedding but Riza never heard a word.

Roy gave her the brightest smile and gave her hand a squeeze. His expression silently asked her one thing.

_Ready?_

Riza nodded, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss him then because it wouldn't be proper in the ceremony. The next best thing was a nod and quick squeeze of his hand.

_Of course_.

* * *

**and _fin_... for now?**


	6. i'm running round a cold and empty space

**AN: this is a prequel to this fic. i was sent a request with the prompt below on tumblr (thank you anon!) and thought it would work with this fic, given roy's history (explained in chapter 5)**

**hope you enjoy!**

* * *

_**"I didn't mean the things I said"**_

* * *

"Hey, Hawkeye. You okay?" Roy squinted at her and it made her eye twitch.

"Fine." Her answer was curt, but she didn't think any of the guys would notice in their drunken stupor.

Rebecca Catalina did though, and she narrowed her eyes at Roy in response as Havoc slung his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders, laughing loudly at Roy's joke and drawing his attention away from her.

"Be right back," Riza muttered quietly.

Not that anyone would probably notice or bother her leaving. And, it was a lie. She had no intention of coming back to the table. She just wanted to go home and sleep. The alcohol in her system had her buzzed, but she wasn't drunk like the rest of them. Sighing to herself, she subtly grabbed her purse from the back of her chair.

She loved her friends. She adored them and they were like a family to her. However, going out for drinks wasn't exactly her most favourite thing to do in the world because they all got too loud and rowdy for her. Feeling incredibly guilty for thinking such a thing, Riza always tagged along and made the effort anyway.

"Riza!" Rebecca called to her as she walked away.

She cringed but turned to face her friend.

"Ignore him, all right? He's an asshole."

"He's always an asshole, though," Riza muttered.

"Exactly," Rebecca interjected. "That's just the way he… is… right now." It looked like Rebecca wanted to reveal more about Roy, but she didn't. She even frowned to herself at her poor excuse for an explanation.

Riza supposed that was fair. She was the newest addition to the friend group, and it wasn't Rebecca's place to share such secrets and knowledge with the newcomer so easily. They obviously didn't trust her enough yet.

"But," Rebecca stressed. "He's… trying," she finished lamely. She frowned again.

"Trying for what?" Riza was confused.

Shaking her head, Rebecca ignored her question. "Just please don't take it to heart. They're all drunk. It's likely they won't remember any of this tomorrow."

Yes, it _was_ likely they wouldn't remember. But Riza would.

"_I thought you were some kind of ice queen or something to begin with,_" Roy drunkenly laughed inside her mind, mocking her.

It wasn't meant to hurt. It was meant to be a joke. But it was always hard for Riza to form connections with others. _Thank you, father of the year, Berthold Hawkeye_. To hear someone so openly declare that they thought she was so cold… Riza tried so hard all the time but always seemed to fall short of the mark. But with these guys, it had been different. And to hear them laugh and joke about how she'd been so cold towards them in the beginning when Riza had intended to be the complete opposite… It hurt her. It hurt that they'd all laughed too. No reassurance was offered. Rebecca opened her mouth, looking directly at Riza, but was cut off by Havoc suddenly changing the topic.

"I know, and I won't," Riza lied. "I'm a bit tired though, so I'm just going to head home."

Before Rebecca could reply, Riza turned around and was on her way out of the bar.

* * *

"Hey, Hawkeye!" a voice called to her as she stepped inside the lift. "Hold the door!"

Roy hurried over to her and she was half tempted to let the doors close on him, but that would probably be "too cold" of her. Irritably, she pressed the button to hold them open for longer.

"I missed you tonight. Where'd you go?" He leaned heavily against the wall as he tried to catch his breath. The doors closed, leaving them both in the lift together.

"I didn't feel too well so I went home."

Roy blinked at her. He straightened his spine and blinked again. He was staring and it was annoying her even more.

Of all the times for her to head down to the waste disposal room she just _had_ to run into him as he arrived home. He was even drunker. His jacket was haphazardly thrown on and his hair was mussed up, some strands sticking out. He stank of alcohol and Riza tried not to wrinkle her nose in the enclosed space.

"Rebecca told me I said… some things," he muttered. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the cold metal. "Actually, she tore into me," he chuckled to himself. "I didn't mean to. I really didn't." Groaning loudly, his head rolled forward before he opened his eyes to look at her again. "I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry." He burped quietly and Riza scoffed in disgust as she caught a whiff of more alcohol on his breath.

"It's okay," she replied calmly. It wasn't but talking to a drunk Roy would probably be like talking to a brick wall. If he still remembered and felt guilty then he could come to her in the morning. Or whenever he recovered enough from his hangover. It wasn't like he had to make much of an effort, he lived right across the hall from her in this apartment building.

The door to the lift opened and she stepped out, leaving him behind.

"No, it's not okay," he slurred. "It's really not. It was a bit of a joke, but it hurt you and I'm really sorry about that."

"Roy, we can talk about this later –"

"No, we can't," he replied earnestly.

She turned to shoot him a glare, but she paused. His eyes were wide and as earnest as his tone. They were owlish, begging her to listen to him.

"We can't do it later because I feel so guilty. You're not cold," he told her. "You're the complete opposite."

He was drunk, and he needed to go to his bed.

"You're warm, like the sunshine," he declared. "You're one of the sweetest people I know. _And_ you're one of the best! I'm… I'm so sorry," he mumbled. Sighing heavily, he leaned against the wall beside his apartment door. He almost fell over too, but Riza didn't move to help him.

_It's just the alcohol talking._

Still, she could see how guilty he felt. Even if he was drunk, being this torn up about it would be hard to fake.

"Roy," Riza called to him.

His head lifted and his eyes were so sad.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean the things I said."

Letting out a quiet breath, she exhaled slowly. "Let's get you into bed, okay?" His face was miserable as he looked at her, so she offered him a smile. "We can talk about this in the morning. Don't worry about it."

* * *

It was well past four in the afternoon when Riza heard a knock on her apartment door. Roy looked like hell. The dark bags under his eyes were prominent and he looked slightly pale. Still, in his hands were two cups of to-go coffee in a cardboard holder and a paper bag from the bakery down the street.

"A peace offering," he announced with a nervous smile. "And an apology."

Riza regarded him for a moment. While he still looked slightly ill and hungover, his smile had lit up his face as soon as she opened the door and her eyes met his. It made her heart flutter inside her chest, but Riza pushed it down. And, he'd ventured into the outside world to get coffee and a sweet treat for her. The least she could do was hear him out. Although, after seeing how broken up he was last night, Riza was already willing to hear him out. That sorrow was hard to fake when one was as drunk as Roy was.

"Of course," she smiled. "Come in."


End file.
